Monday

Reflection

I got a haircut last week. We had family pictures (I will post them when we get them, can't WAIT!)* and I wanted to look tip-top.

After my haircut I decided to take pictures at different angles. My purpose was dual: I wanted to remember what it looked like and be able to produce evidence to my many admirers if requested.

After taking pictures of all angles, my new camera and I played around with the self timer. I wanted to get a decent straight-forward angle, a good front shot. I took a bunch, mostly because I was having so much fun with my new camera. As I went through and viewed these pictures - deleting many - I was a bit taken aback.


"I don't recognize this person" I thought to myself.

I look in the mirror every day. Most of my a-line hair cut took place in the back. But looking at pictures of myself I realized that I still see myself, in my head, as I looked nearly 12 years ago, at age 16 or so.

Why is this? Why did I, in my mind, stop aging at 16? Did I find myself particularly attractive or cute at 16 years old? - Well, I certainly didn't when I was 16, in true 16 year old girl fashion. I mostly stayed looking the same until I was about 19 or so, excepting various hair colors.

It was still another 3-ish years from then until I was married at a week shy of 23, followed closely after by a few years of physique shifting times brought on by carrying and birthing 2 beautiful daughters. And that was rather recent, compared to 12 years ago. But I still have a mental image of a 16 year old me.

Some days I feel as though someone took a 16 year old version of myself and plopped me right down in the middle of the life of a woman with a husband, 2 kids, and a mortgage. - A little dazed and confused. But the majority of the time I'm very firmly planted and quite capable.

So why in my mind do I still look 16? Some fine lines around my eyes surely testify otherwise. I hope it's just that I feel I haven't really aged, that I'm still young at heart enough to qualify for the term "teen" when really the education I have received from several institutions - secular and spiritual as well as the world, prove I am far from this label.

Yeah, let's got with that. Young at heart. Certainly it's at least hard to contest.


* Marquette Mower. She is A-MA-ZING with kids.
My kids weren't "burned out" once during our 1.5 hour shoot.

1 comment:

Heather said...

You look beautiful and I'm not just saying that. Radiantly confident.