I could confess today about how long I allow my daughter to cry in her crib before I take her out or how only recently have I become a really regular toilet cleaner but I'm opting for another avenue.
Today I want to confess that I am happy.
Over a year ago when my dear husband went back to school I never thought about being poor. Not that I was in denial or didn't know it was eminent. It just didn't concern me.
And when he started back to school, going part time at work, and that very semester I found out I was pregnant, I was only mildly concerned about money.
When we moved hours and hours and miles away from home to pursue nursing, I imagined my husband may or may not work and I may or may not work. It was likely I would not work and possible that he would. But I wasn't stressed about it.
And now we are here, neither of us work, (Ted will work the summer, when school is out), and we are poor. Not can't-buy-food-or-toothpaste poor. More like why-is-the-utility-bill-SOOOoo-expensive poor. Or that-would-be-fun-to-buy-for-the-girls and then laugh at ourselves poor. We have everything we need and no one in our family, if we are realistic, wants for anything at all.
People (mostly older people) tell me that someday I will look back on this time of our lives fondly. I'll reminisce on these days as the happiest of my life. And I believe them. But in the meantime, I'm not just counting down the days until school is over and full time money raking employment begins. I am happy NOW not only because I choose to be, but because I have my sweet husband, beautiful daughters, the gospel of Jesus Christ, and every other little thing we need... and stave off the wants the best I can.
It's so nice, when people tell me someday I'll look back on these times as the happiest of my life, to be able to say, "I already do."