i'm discouraged but not giving up!

tonight was hard.

tonight i didn't actually eat dinner.

i did eat half of everything gwenna ravenously gobbled down.
- half a roast beef sandwich, half a serving of crackers and cheese, half a fruit cup, a little more than half a snack pack (tapioca), and way less than half of the rest over home made rice pilaf from last night.

tonight i got thrown up on a lot.
- not by the beasty eater, but by the littlest baby.

and then, while bathing her, she somehow got some water on the inside of her, where it's not supposed to be (she breathed it in?) and i was freaking out for the 3-5 seconds she was trying to cry and couldn't.
- and i wanted to cry right there on the side of the tub.

tonight, as my husband is gone, i was discouraged because after our vacation, we had no more milk. ted left before i could go to the store and buy more.

who wants to bring a pukey baby to the store to buy milk?

(i have the milk now. brothers rock.)

tonight i discovered, at the least opportune time (when the battery was beeping) that i left my cell phone charger in the hotel i wish i could go back to.
- i'd find george while i was at it. gwenna really misses her monkey.

so i'm discouraged because tonight i'm sleeping alone in my bed.

and i hate that. i hate it!

because every little noise sounds like a burglar, wearing all black, with a black ski mask, and something protruding out of his coat pocket that could be a gun or could be a hair comb. but who wants to chance it??

and i cling tightly to my babies and sleep so feather light, i should be inside my down pillows rather than on top of them.

so i'm discouraged about the future of my evening.

but i'm not giving up.

because giving up isn't an option. i have two girls to care for and when i get a minute, i could use some caring too. maybe i'll start tomorrow with a better breakfast than was my dinner.

afterall, i have milk!

tomorrow is looking brighter already.


Niki said...

Poor Kel! Still feeling sicko, I assume? I'll call tomorrow, can't wait to hear about the trip.

Amy said...

I'm so sad I can't be there to help you! You were always so good to me when Wes was out of town.

I know a little of what you feel--I was very disheartened when at the beginning of Wes's week long absence Bromus cried incessantly for an hour.

And yes--you can do it! You're a mom and that gives you Super Mom Powers!

Heather said...

I love that amid the suckiness you are experiencing right now, you are consciously making an effort to see the positive. That's the key, friend, and you obviously can teach me a lot. I hope today is better than you're hoping for.

Casey said...

I'm quite certain that the exact same burglar in black (or perhaps his cousin--maybe it's a conspiracy) was in my apartment last night. The imagination can be a terrible thing, indeed; particularly when our hubbies are not next to us.
Hang in there, dear! You're an example to us all.