I recently read the story of a woman who lost her little girl in an unexpected way. I have a couple friends (few) who have lost little children. I have more friends who have miscarried their sweet babies.

These accounts, these real life experiences, cause me to reflect on my own life. I don't try, but whenever I hear these heart wrenching experiences, I am in these lonely, grieving shoes for a minute. I can't imagine a harder loss than the loss of a child. Maybe losing your spouse would be harder... but I can't imagine losing a person you gave birth to or would have given birth to.

We all have a lonely stretch to walk on our path of life. It's different for each person, no on has the same challenge or trial as someone else, we all handle them differently. And I thank God that for the most part I have been spared for this particular form of grief. I think of my my oldest daughter's melodic giggles and her excited squeals. I think of my younger daughter's first smiles and how every babbly sound she makes sounds like she's calling for her dad. I know these moments and characteristics will evolve and they will pass. But what would I do if they disappeared suddenly, if these sweet sounds, expressions, and reciprocations of love left suddenly with no evolution and no continuation in this life?

We have so much to learn from each other. Better in many cases to learn from one another than to have to experience each situation for ourselves. So as I am contemplating this story I read just recently, a young mother losing her sweetest joy, it makes me want to remember every moment with my children, categorize and file away smiles, excitement, cries, and even tantrums. They're all parts and pieces of these girls I love with my whole heart. I hope I'm never in a situation of great loss the way many people I know have been. I have been blessed with trials specific to my weaknesses that have made me stronger and I am grateful for the things I can learn from other people's journeys.


Jewel said...

Thank you, once again, for helping me reflect on my own perspective.

Suzanne and Davey Maughan said...

I have had feelings like this many times since miscarrying my first child, having Hayley, and even having Andersen. I hope I never have to endure that type of hardship. My miscarriage was a devastating time in my life---and I didnt even know or feel that baby (though I do believe that baby was Hayley...and it just wasnt her time...but Im sure we all have different perspectives on that). When I hear of loss, it does rewind my life back to those first few weeks of losing my 11-week-in-utero baby. Now as I think of it, it seems like it should have been no big deal. It seems like women miscarry babies all the time. But it was a big deal. When I actually take myself back to how I felt then, it was more than a big deal. But still seems so incompetent when compared to losing a child. I hope to never lose my babies---I would prefer to raise them on this earth (my impatient personality coming through). Glad you wrote down your thoughts on that. Sorry Im rambling... :)