Just in case you thought it was you...

I am SO the meanest mom ever. Don't even try to convince me that YOU are the meanest mom, because you're not. I am.

Let me give you a couple of solid examples.

I recently let Gwenna fall out of her crib. She was sleeping soundly and I allowed her to wake from a peaceful slumber and then somehow implanted in that cute little brain of her's the idea to make a jail break. So she somehow flung her little leg over the side of her crib and onto the top of the diaper genie... which promptly tipped over.

See? I'm a really mean mom.

Oh, and since that incident, she's not allowed to sleep in her crib.

She is forced to make use of Ted as a sort of "human bed" - a term coined about 14 months ago by our sister-in-law Yumi.

See? SO mean.

I also put a gate at the bottom of the stairs, in the name of safety, when I'm obviously just confining her to the less interesting floor of the house. Oh, unless we're upstairs. Then I close and latch the gate at the top of the stairs under the same guise.


I even make my child sit on the lap of a huge, blue, cookie devouring monster just to watch a couple minutes of Baby Einstein.

She totally hates it. Can you tell?

Let's not even get into how nasty I am to make Gwenna appear in a horizontal version of a 36 week belly shot.

What's next? Making her eat her vegetables? ... No, I already do that. Um, maybe insisting she grow molars and all the accompanying pain and sleepless nights. Darn, we're in the middle of that.

And if you thought that wasn't bad enough, I'm considering not letting the next one be born.

Yup, she just has to stay in there forever.

Oh well. Guess that's what happens when you have the meanest mom in the world.


The Browns said...

Lol! You are too funny! Just ask Elizabeth, I'm SO the meanest mom! So Gwenna didn't sustain any injuries in her jail break did she?

kelly said...

Heidi, one small scratch on her cheekbone that I have yet to determine the culprit of. But otherwise, she's fine. I swear she's half rubber.

Amy Sprinkle said...

And she has LONG LEGS! Her laying on Ted puts my baby's size into perspective. In only about a year Sophia will be that big!

kelly said...

She sure does. Always has. ... and especially compared to your newborn.

Jewel said...

One of those weeks, huh? And I think I'm actually the meanest mom in the world. I make Jack crawl to me from across the room if he wants me to pick him up. It's torture. For both of us. :)

Loved this post. Sometimes I just feel that way, you know?

Suzanne and Davey Maughan said...

And this whole time, I thought it was me...

And I agree with an above post. Gwenna has LONG legs! Hayley is so so so short for her age, it makes Gwenna look huge!