My Real Thoughts

I love being a mom. I think you all know that. But it's not all sunshine and butterflies. Mostly just butterflies... and dirty diapers.

This little girl rocks my world. But there are hard parts that if I did not mention, I would be lying. For instance, Gwenna doesn't sleep when I want her to all the time. Some of the time she does, and for that I'm so lucky. But sometimes, when it's the third time she's woken up in the night and I'm kicking my husband as I'm getting out of bed, and staggering across the hall in the dark while trying not to fall down the stairs, I think it would be nice if she were in my belly still. Those are the times I miss being pregnant. At least then I could sleep all day if I didn't sleep at all at night.

Breast feeding. It's so wonderful. But it was one of my first challenges. 4 days after Gwenna was born she decided to stop eating and no one could figure out just why. But when a little tiny newborn baby stops eating, you do what you can to inspire the desire. For us the answer was to supplement with formula. There have been times I've felt bad about including formula in Gwenna's diet but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is the right way for us and is the best way for Gwenna. But as a woman, this was hard for me. My baby is healthy though and that's what matters.

Time management was something I struggled with at first, as I mentioned in a previous post. Having a baby is demanding of your time and so is having a dog and a house and a husband. I can guarantee you that out of all those obligations the baby matters the most. When the husband comes home (after a 12 hour day), he'll do the dishes, take out the trash, walk the dog and make dinner - if you're lucky and having an amazing husband like I do. That little baby doesn't wait to eat, get a diaper change, cuddle, and be soothed. The dishes can stack and you can embrace paper plates. Don't get me wrong, I sure love owning my home, being married to an amazing man... and even love my dong most of the time. But it's about reprioritizing. I've learned this, but it was a hard lesson to learn.

These are just a few of my honest to goodness feelings about being a mother. And despite all these challenges and more that still dwell in my heart and change day by day, I still would never change a thing. I can't imagine my life without Gwenna and all the blessings she has brought my husband and me. It isn't always easy but it is DEFINATELY always worth it.


Candace said...

I HEAR YA, LOUD AND CLEAR!!! Very well said and so true. Those little darlings can make you feel pretty much every emotion in the book some days; so glad that the main emotion is L-O-V-E!

Glad you are starting to get a handle on things. It justs better!

Whitney said...

Yay! You ARE human!

HUGE adjustment but SO worth it!

Christi said...

Well said, and Kelly, it does get easier, I promise!! Glad to see you are adjusting. Can you give me your email so I can add you to my blog? I'm making it private. Thanks!!

Heather said...

You seem to be doing a beautiful job and you really make me look forward to having a child myself, because you mention the bad with the good. Hang in there! :)